Suryanamaskar B
Today's model is GI Joe 8 Inch Commando Duke. Duke is an ass-kicking G.I. Joe of recent vintage, belonging to the Sigma 6 series of covert operatives along with his frighteningly detailed buddies Storm Shadow, Heavy Duty, Snake Eyes, Spirit Iron Knife, and Tunnel Rat. Duke is the only one with the balls to do yoga, though, and we are pleased to have him demonstrate this sun salutation series for us.
Samasthitih!
Do not fuck with Duke. He has removed his weapons from their holsters while in the shala but he will pop your eyes out with his overdeveloped thumbs if you unroll your mat with a disrespectful snap.
Ekam!
Nice squat, Duke. Those bulky shoulders come in handy for balancing grenade launchers but they make utkatasana kind of a challenge.
Dve!
Here Duke is getting an assist for his forward bend from Orangehead Krybot, formerly a nemesis of the Power Rangers S.P.D. but then he went through some teacher training and now he's thinking about opening his own yoga studio in Ventura.
Trini!
Unlike the majority of plastic action figures, Duke can actually arch his back and raise his head somewhat. Orange Krybot is helpfully keeping Duke balanced until his hips open up a little more.
Chatvari!
Dude has a strong jump back. Tough about the perenially clenched hands, but we do what we can. Remember, Duke, "posture is mastered by freeing the body and mind from tension and restlessness and meditating on the infinite." That's some yogic wisdom, right there. Now, try breathing into your fingers.
Panca!
Nice lift in your updog, fella, and you appear to have the correct drishti. Which is kind of creepy because I didn't think your eyes could move.
Shat!
Keep working your heels down to the floor.
Sapta!
I'm just astonished by the size of your forearms.
Ashtau
And the fact that you can do chaturanga balanced on a fingernail and one knuckle.
Nava!
And don't even get me started on your hair.
Dasa!
Are you trying to balance on your fists? You have to have fists to do that, brah.
Ekadasa!
Did you take that master class with Paul Taylor last time he was through? Because there's something really expressive going on with your hips here and I just love it.
Dvadasa!
Are you doing anything after class?
Trayodasa!
We could get a chai somewhere.
Chaturdasa!
I have a great view of the Channel Islands from my deck and my roommate's out of town.
Pancadasa!
Inhale, head up!
Sodasa!
Exhale, and, uh, Krybot? I think Duke's trying to tell you that he's had enough adjustment for now.
Saptadasa!
Utkatasana! Inhale up and my God, those calves of yours.
Samasthitih!
Thanks, Duke. Come back anytime. I've got some other poses I'd like you to demonstrate for me.
Previous pose
Next pose
Samasthitih!
Do not fuck with Duke. He has removed his weapons from their holsters while in the shala but he will pop your eyes out with his overdeveloped thumbs if you unroll your mat with a disrespectful snap.
Ekam!
Nice squat, Duke. Those bulky shoulders come in handy for balancing grenade launchers but they make utkatasana kind of a challenge.
Dve!
Here Duke is getting an assist for his forward bend from Orangehead Krybot, formerly a nemesis of the Power Rangers S.P.D. but then he went through some teacher training and now he's thinking about opening his own yoga studio in Ventura.
Trini!
Unlike the majority of plastic action figures, Duke can actually arch his back and raise his head somewhat. Orange Krybot is helpfully keeping Duke balanced until his hips open up a little more.
Chatvari!
Dude has a strong jump back. Tough about the perenially clenched hands, but we do what we can. Remember, Duke, "posture is mastered by freeing the body and mind from tension and restlessness and meditating on the infinite." That's some yogic wisdom, right there. Now, try breathing into your fingers.
Panca!
Nice lift in your updog, fella, and you appear to have the correct drishti. Which is kind of creepy because I didn't think your eyes could move.
Shat!
Keep working your heels down to the floor.
Sapta!
I'm just astonished by the size of your forearms.
Ashtau
And the fact that you can do chaturanga balanced on a fingernail and one knuckle.
Nava!
And don't even get me started on your hair.
Dasa!
Are you trying to balance on your fists? You have to have fists to do that, brah.
Ekadasa!
Did you take that master class with Paul Taylor last time he was through? Because there's something really expressive going on with your hips here and I just love it.
Dvadasa!
Are you doing anything after class?
Trayodasa!
We could get a chai somewhere.
Chaturdasa!
I have a great view of the Channel Islands from my deck and my roommate's out of town.
Pancadasa!
Inhale, head up!
Sodasa!
Exhale, and, uh, Krybot? I think Duke's trying to tell you that he's had enough adjustment for now.
Saptadasa!
Utkatasana! Inhale up and my God, those calves of yours.
Samasthitih!
Thanks, Duke. Come back anytime. I've got some other poses I'd like you to demonstrate for me.
Previous pose
Next pose
posted by Elastigirl at
2:07 PM
28 Comments:
He is so manly, and yet fragile and sensitive. I love that he can accept help.
Oh dear, seriously I have tears on my eyeballs, that was so funny.
PS. Do you just piss yourself when you're doing these?
I click on the ads...ppc advertising in action! Hopefully you will make a few dollars off this...
Also, your top banner ad isn't working.
Dear Gawd, I think I ruptured my spleen laughing!
Oh. My god. Too. Much. Laughter. The expressive hips really did me in.
R O F L
love it love it love it!
That is hilarious. Does anyone other than me have Dolph Lundgren flashbacks when looking at Mr. Dukey here? Totally Dolph, man.
You are brilliant Fussy. Brilliant.
I'm with jc_people - Dolph all the way! Hilarious!
That bit about being eight inches through me off. I wasn't quite sure what you were talking about. I even looked at GI Joe's crotch, just to see if he was anatomically correct.
jes
HYSTERICAL!! I shall LINK!!
OMG!
Ahhh, too funny! I love it. Bravo Mrs. Kennedy.
The fingernail and knuckle balance really got me. So funny.
This is so great! Last year I sprained my left boob trying to wrench into marichyasana d and spent a week w/an icepack in my bra, so I'm anxious to pick up a few superhero pointers when you get there. Of course it's all about the journey.
His downward dog is bitchin'.
I am in love with Dude. What.a.stud. - he redefines the metro-sexual - takes it to a whole new level.
I do love this! Don't know if you have girls, but I think Barbie would be a great character to explor yoga with as well.. I would love to see Barbie and her tight thighs in Eka Pada Rajakapotasana.
I just love this new blog of yours- please say that you will do more. I love yoga, but worry about the "cult" like following it has- this injects a little humor. Thank you.
Can GI Joe do meditation? In the lotus position? This is the funniest blog ever, by the way, and I can't wait to see more! Great concept,and I hope it makes you a ton of dough so you can have a happy, happy, HAPPY life!!!
Oh. My. God. New to your blog. Fussy sent me. Will never look at "down dog" the same way agin!
marian, I have to say, I love the term Yoga Nazi, that is fabulous. OM my gawd! Too funny, all of it. I didn't think anything could top Sir Racus, but the Duke may have usurped his Dukeness.
You're right, Chuck! Thanks for pointing that out.
Congrats.. that's a wonderful idea!
I'm gonna try to do that! ommm
SO funny!
Oh, THANK YOU! That is so good! I've linked to it too.
just...i love you for this
too funny
This was great! Duke has come such a long way since the mid-80's when my cousins and I used him to battle Destro and the Cobra Commander. I think he had a beard then, too. Or maybe that was "Rock n Roll". Either way, I am impressed.
I have laughed myself silly over this.
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