Utthita Trikonasana and Parivritta Trikonasana
Well! Classes are getting more popular here at yogabeans! Word must be spreading. I guess if you jam a bunch of superheroes into the same toy drawer every night they will talk.
Today's guest teacher is Bendy Marge Simpson. Marge is one of our most advanced teachers. Her yogic knowledge is so deep that her daily practice consists of mixing cake batter in a Tupperware bowl while doing advanced pranayama, which really gets her chakras a-whirlin'.
Our demonstrators are, from left to right, The Hulk, Batman from Batman Begins, and Cole, the Red Lion Wild Force Power Ranger.
Welcome, superheroes! Let's get to work on these two poses, known familiarly as Triangle and Revolved Triangle.
Marge: Okay, everyone! Inhale and jump your feet apart!
Power Ranger: Is this far enough, Marge?
Marge: Oh, that's very good! Ideally the distance between your feet will be equal to the length of one of your legs. Imagine one of your legs lying on the floor, and then put one foot where the foot would be and the other foot where the bloody stump that fits into your hip joint would be!
Hulk: RRRRRRRR!
Batman: I like your style, Marge.
Marge: Great! Now exhale and turn your right foot out and bring your right hand down as far as you can toward your foot. If you can grab your big toe, that's terrific! Otherwise, you can rest your hand lightly on your knee and slowly work it down your shin. Bring your left shoulder back and look up at your left hand, which needs to go straight up! Look at your thumb! It will help you stay balanced! Five to eight breaths here.
Hulk: RRRRR! Can't do pose! Too angry!
Batman: Well, don't look at me, for Christ's sake, I can barely move my arms.
Power Ranger: Dudes! Yoga is totally awesome!
Marge: Hulk, do you need me to explain the pose again?
Hulk: Hulk too masculine for yoga!
Marge: Oh, don't be silly. Look at Batman, he's very masculine. And Red Power Ranger, you wouldn't call him feminine, would you?
Hulk: Yes, Hulk would! Red Power Ranger covered in Spandex! Red Power Ranger very, very gay!
Power Ranger: I'm not gay, I'm just from the eighties!
Hulk: Everyone in eighties gay!
Batman: Hell, I was gay in the eighties.
Marge: That's better, Hulk! Now you're getting it!
Hulk: Hulk feel like big, green sissy.
Marge: Everyone, use this opportunity to support the balance of masculine and feminine within, strength and ease, hard and soft.
Hulk: Marge too beautiful to have masculine within.
Marge: Tee hee!
Batman: Give it a rest, Greenie.
Marge: Wonderful, gentlemen! Now, inhale back to center . . .
Marge: . . . then rotate your left foot out, exhale your left arm down to your big toe or shin, and look up as you stretch your right arm toward the sky!
Hulk: Hulk only see ceiling.
Batman: It's a figure of speech, you big, badly dressed homophobe.
Power Ranger: I can see the sky! In my imagination! It's a big, beautiful blue sky full of fluffy little clouds!
Batman: Jesus.
Marge: Hulk, I'm worried you might be over-rotating your neck.
Hulk: HULK WANT TO SEE SKY!
Marge: Hulk, try to find the ease within the work of each pose.
Hulk: Hulk weeping salty tears of frustration. Hulk hate yoga.
Marge: Part of the work of yoga is accepting your body as it is, right now, Hulk. Just breathe into the resistance you're feeling.
Hulk: Okay. *sigh*
Marge: Let's inhale back to center, boys, and move on to revolved triangle. It's the same pose, but with a twist!
Hulk: Marge funny!
Marge: Excellent twisting, everyone! Five to eight breaths, now. Batman, is your cape getting in the way?
Batman: No.
Hulk: Capes gay.
Batman: I've about had it with you, Frankenstein.
Marge: And inhale back to center . . .
Marge: . . . and rotate your left foot out and twist out over your left leg, starting at the base of your spine and opening your chest, softening your neck, and reaching to place your right hand on the outside of your left foot.
Hulk: Huh?
Marge: Hulk, just work on twisting gently from your waist -- you seem to have left it behind somehow, and spun your thoractic spine all the way around. How did you do that!
Batman: Mattel. Always cutting corners.
Hulk: Hulk not by Mattel! Hulk high-quality roto-cast poseable figure by ToyBiz.
Batman: Yeah, but do you have a dick?
Marge: And! Rotate back to center! Hulk, you might want to bring your abdomen back around to the front, too.
Power Ranger: Dude, that is weird.
Hulk: Hulk embarrased.
Marge: Jump your feet back together and come to center! Excellent work, boys! I give you a heartfelt namaste.
Batman: Power Ranger, those were some fine triangle poses, I'm impressed. You want to come back to the bat cave and do them again?
Power Ranger: Sure! Will Robin be there?
Hulk: Hulk feeling very left out.
Batman: Well, grow a dick and we'll talk.
Previous pose
Next pose
Today's guest teacher is Bendy Marge Simpson. Marge is one of our most advanced teachers. Her yogic knowledge is so deep that her daily practice consists of mixing cake batter in a Tupperware bowl while doing advanced pranayama, which really gets her chakras a-whirlin'.
Our demonstrators are, from left to right, The Hulk, Batman from Batman Begins, and Cole, the Red Lion Wild Force Power Ranger.
Welcome, superheroes! Let's get to work on these two poses, known familiarly as Triangle and Revolved Triangle.
Marge: Okay, everyone! Inhale and jump your feet apart!
Power Ranger: Is this far enough, Marge?
Marge: Oh, that's very good! Ideally the distance between your feet will be equal to the length of one of your legs. Imagine one of your legs lying on the floor, and then put one foot where the foot would be and the other foot where the bloody stump that fits into your hip joint would be!
Hulk: RRRRRRRR!
Batman: I like your style, Marge.
Marge: Great! Now exhale and turn your right foot out and bring your right hand down as far as you can toward your foot. If you can grab your big toe, that's terrific! Otherwise, you can rest your hand lightly on your knee and slowly work it down your shin. Bring your left shoulder back and look up at your left hand, which needs to go straight up! Look at your thumb! It will help you stay balanced! Five to eight breaths here.
Hulk: RRRRR! Can't do pose! Too angry!
Batman: Well, don't look at me, for Christ's sake, I can barely move my arms.
Power Ranger: Dudes! Yoga is totally awesome!
Marge: Hulk, do you need me to explain the pose again?
Hulk: Hulk too masculine for yoga!
Marge: Oh, don't be silly. Look at Batman, he's very masculine. And Red Power Ranger, you wouldn't call him feminine, would you?
Hulk: Yes, Hulk would! Red Power Ranger covered in Spandex! Red Power Ranger very, very gay!
Power Ranger: I'm not gay, I'm just from the eighties!
Hulk: Everyone in eighties gay!
Batman: Hell, I was gay in the eighties.
Marge: That's better, Hulk! Now you're getting it!
Hulk: Hulk feel like big, green sissy.
Marge: Everyone, use this opportunity to support the balance of masculine and feminine within, strength and ease, hard and soft.
Hulk: Marge too beautiful to have masculine within.
Marge: Tee hee!
Batman: Give it a rest, Greenie.
Marge: Wonderful, gentlemen! Now, inhale back to center . . .
Marge: . . . then rotate your left foot out, exhale your left arm down to your big toe or shin, and look up as you stretch your right arm toward the sky!
Hulk: Hulk only see ceiling.
Batman: It's a figure of speech, you big, badly dressed homophobe.
Power Ranger: I can see the sky! In my imagination! It's a big, beautiful blue sky full of fluffy little clouds!
Batman: Jesus.
Marge: Hulk, I'm worried you might be over-rotating your neck.
Hulk: HULK WANT TO SEE SKY!
Marge: Hulk, try to find the ease within the work of each pose.
Hulk: Hulk weeping salty tears of frustration. Hulk hate yoga.
Marge: Part of the work of yoga is accepting your body as it is, right now, Hulk. Just breathe into the resistance you're feeling.
Hulk: Okay. *sigh*
Marge: Let's inhale back to center, boys, and move on to revolved triangle. It's the same pose, but with a twist!
Hulk: Marge funny!
Marge: Excellent twisting, everyone! Five to eight breaths, now. Batman, is your cape getting in the way?
Batman: No.
Hulk: Capes gay.
Batman: I've about had it with you, Frankenstein.
Marge: And inhale back to center . . .
Marge: . . . and rotate your left foot out and twist out over your left leg, starting at the base of your spine and opening your chest, softening your neck, and reaching to place your right hand on the outside of your left foot.
Hulk: Huh?
Marge: Hulk, just work on twisting gently from your waist -- you seem to have left it behind somehow, and spun your thoractic spine all the way around. How did you do that!
Batman: Mattel. Always cutting corners.
Hulk: Hulk not by Mattel! Hulk high-quality roto-cast poseable figure by ToyBiz.
Batman: Yeah, but do you have a dick?
Marge: And! Rotate back to center! Hulk, you might want to bring your abdomen back around to the front, too.
Power Ranger: Dude, that is weird.
Hulk: Hulk embarrased.
Marge: Jump your feet back together and come to center! Excellent work, boys! I give you a heartfelt namaste.
Batman: Power Ranger, those were some fine triangle poses, I'm impressed. You want to come back to the bat cave and do them again?
Power Ranger: Sure! Will Robin be there?
Hulk: Hulk feeling very left out.
Batman: Well, grow a dick and we'll talk.
Previous pose
Next pose
posted by Elastigirl at
1:29 PM
33 Comments:
Batman sure knows how to work a cape.
I never realized how similar the Hulk and my best friend are.
until now.
so hulk has no dick, and he's homophobic?? who knew?(i learn so much every i come here!)
sounds like the bat cave is home to some kinky fun... : D
I am in tears. This is indeed, the best one ever. I was talking you up in my yoga class the other night, by the way. Hopefully it will bring you more traffic. Genius!
Oh. My.
In a good way.
OMG. It may be that I live in the Hippie Homeland/Yoga Central (I have seen kids "playing yoga" with their toys at restaurants), but this site makes me laugh out loud every time I visit.
The thing that makes this truly hilarious for me is hearing Batman's voice from the old cartoon show in my head.
"Hell, I was gay in the eighties."
SO TRUE.
Good stuff. . . I found your site by accident & love it! It makes me realize that I've let my yoga practice slip to the wayside. . . now, if on;y my instructors was as knowledgeable as marge! :)
I love your site. Just love it.
And, yes, it's making me think that I need to get back to a regular home practice. :)
That was some funny shit right there...thanks.
If you're so inclined, there's been a posting of an obit for George W. over at youdied.
That's so freaking funny I had to change my pants.... and pass on the link to room mate.
The below exchange made me spray my monitor with cocoa:
Power Ranger: I can see the sky! In my imagination! It's a big, beautiful blue sky full of fluffy little clouds!
Batman: Jesus.
Grow a dick and we'll talk, hahahaha. Excellent.
nearly pissed myself laughing.
(that's a compliment, btw)
Hulk got all the best lines. Like:
"Yes, Hulk would! Red Power Ranger covered in Spandex! Red Power Ranger very, very gay!"
BAH-hahaha! also, "Hulk feel like big, green sissy". Excellent!
Marge: Hulk, do you need me to explain the pose again?
Hulk: Hulk too masculine for yoga!
Marge: Oh, don't be silly. Look at Batman, he's very masculine. And Red Power Ranger, you wouldn't call him feminine, would you?
Hulk: Yes, Hulk would! Red Power Ranger covered in Spandex! Red Power Ranger very, very gay!
Power Ranger: I'm not gay, I'm just from the eighties!
Hulk: Everyone in eighties gay!
Batman: Hell, I was gay in the eighties.
Marge: Hulk, do you need me to explain the pose again?
Hulk: Hulk too masculine for yoga!
Marge: Oh, don't be silly. Look at Batman, he's very masculine. And Red Power Ranger, you wouldn't call him feminine, would you?
Hulk: Yes, Hulk would! Red Power Ranger covered in Spandex! Red Power Ranger very, very gay!
Power Ranger: I'm not gay, I'm just from the eighties!
Hulk: Everyone in eighties gay!
Batman: Hell, I was gay in the eighties.
HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA! Holy shit, that's funny stuff!
Poor Hulk!.....and who knew Batman was such a whore!!!....LOL
Great stuff ....Namaste'
Oh my god, I'm crying I'm laughing so hard!
If only my yoga teacher let us talk in class, who knows what everyone would say?
I'm trying to stifle because my kid's just gone down for the night, but OMG I think I might rupture something if I don't guffaw soon. Thank you so much for this fabulousness.
Fabulous - I'm sure the combination of snorting giggles and wistful guilt over my long-lost yoga flexibility is doing my karma some good.
Does watching others perform yoga, count as a yoga practice? Now I can have a serene day!
I bow down to the genius of this site! Tears are rolling down my face at this one!
Wonderful funny fantastic
Sooooo Funny! Love your creativity!
I think Jedi Master Yoda should teach a class soon! Or at least have R2D2 doing some poses (I guess he could only do inversions probably...before wobbling over. Unless Batman lets him use his tape!)
thank you thank you for this much needed laugh. oh my.
when there are t-shirts, i'm all over them. i'm so glad i found you.
SO funny.
This one is SOO much more funny if you imagine Marge's voice when you read it.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Fantastic stuff. I hope you can earn some $$$ with this. It's genius.
Like everyone else here, I sincerely hope you earn some well-deserved cash with this site as it really is LOL funny. Right now I'm wondering what is up with that ad in the upper left corner for the avn36 Bird Flu protection? That made me laugh, too!
Amazing. You have truly found your gift.
I love you. You have single-handedly brightened up my college-student-with-a-paper-due-in-11-hours-that-she-hasn't-really-started (though it is fully researched) existence. Bravo!
*wheeze* *dying*
oh, bless you for this...
awesome. i come back to this every few weeks, and giggle out loud each time. saw a rerun of the Hulk movie, and kept wondering when he was going to show some yogic action!
This is THE MOST HILARIOUS thing I have EVER seen, heard or otherwise encountered in this life and/or other previous incarnations. CLASSIC! I'll NEVER get sick of this!! Thankyou!
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